Human

Pastor's sermon today was about how Jesus came down to earth so He could relate to us. What an act of humility. He was fully God and fully man. He lowered Himself to be like us. But it wasn't enough that He became like us, He dies for us. What an awesome God.

I think I may have just re-enrolled in HS.

FUN

Being a worship leader has its disadvantages...

I went through and removed the tags on my Jasmine pictures.

I thought about keeping one...then I just saved it to my external.

Tonight's "Pursue" night was AWESOME. Worship rocked. I always seem to get more blessed when I'm playing drums. I think it's because I can be so free with them. They hide me...I get to move around and no one thinks I'm crazy. It's freeing. And so much fun.

Tonight we all hung out afterwards and I can say that I am really starting to feel like I'm a part of the church family. I love getting involved with the youth. They're so passionate and just...cool. And I got to talk with the youth pastors afterwards and some of the young adults that attended. We just laughed and talked for almost an hour. Fun.

Basically I'm just having fun.

I spent almost 5 hours at the DMV today. I went there once, found out they don't take Visa, drove 45 minutes back home, came back and finally got my license, tags, and plates.

I was reading a book when this cute little boy came in. He stepped in, stopped, took a look around at everyone, and just stood there observing for a minute or so. Then he came and sat right in front of me with his mother. He turned around in his chair and just stared at me...for close to a minute. Finally he waved at me. I waved back. Then he stared at me for another minute. Finally he inquired, "Do you talk?" I shook my head no.

Then he got scolded by his mother.

"But why doesn't he talk?"

Fun.

God gives us days like this to reflect on when the trials come.

Thank you.

I hate it when people tell you to smile. Don't tell people how to feel. If they feel happy, they'll smile. You should be allowed to look neutral if you wish. You don't have to fake a smile if you don't want to. Let us be ourselves!

Why does it seem like the hardest thing to do is always the right thing to do?

This is completely unrelated to my first thought. Turns out there might be a change of plans. I don't think I'm going to get my masters in music composition.

1. It's 45k a year
2. Teaching jobs rarely come open, and I just can't justify spending that kind of money on a job that really won't pay itself back. That's just too much debt.

Soooo...I've been looking into SIUE's MBA program. Which means I no longer need the GRE prep book I bought, but instead I'll need a GMAT prep book and a ton more math knowledge. I did some practice problems with my buddy tonight.

We got 50% of them right.

They have a one-year program that I could start in the summer. Logic tells me this is a good life decision. I've never really been good at math, but as my higher level thinking skills have developed in college, I have noticed that I am becoming more adept at logic-based problems. But there's a whole lot of logic involved, and not a whole lot of praying. Which leads me to option #2...

Theology. This has always interested me. Once again, not really the best career move, hence the prayer. But this is something that I can do from home and it's relatively cheap schooling. A BUTT-LOAD of writing though, which is something I hate. But writing is becoming increasingly easier for me, and when it's a subject that I care about, it always makes it easier.

I'm really unsure though. No matter what, I do need to enter some type of graduate program. I've seen what life is like when people are struggling to find a job. With the degree I received from Evangel, I'm really not ensured job security. But God has taken care of me this far. There's a line from a Michael Buble song that states, "I live my life in stages". Whether I'm taking this out of context or not, I don't care. I know that this is what God wants for me in this stage of my life and I am going to give it my best until it's over...and then I find out what God has for me next. I don't want to spend my time constantly thinking about the future when I should be concentrating on the "here and now". If I did that, I'd be robbing the present of my full attention, and not putting forth all my effort into my current job, friends, and family.

I'm merely thinking about my future when it allows, not dwelling on it. There's a big difference between preparing for your future and fretting over it. One is healthy, the other is not. The Bible says to let tomorrow worry about itself. Great advice.

Perspective

It's always a wake up call when you think something is good, and then you see a professional do it. Perspective.

I hate testosterone and the male need to "one-up".

HS love

I was leaving the mall the other night and I stumbled across a young couple, probably around high school age. The boy had his arm gently wrapped around his girlfriends waist, like he was scared that someone might steal her. His prized possession. It took me back to my high school dating days when all you want to do is spend every waking moment with that person. All you think about is when you are going to see them next...what excuse you can dream up to see them again...and how close you can be to them. Back when you still have your innocence and naivety...

I'm a Sexist.

Today my pastor said that women are indecisive, and that's why God made man the head of the household.

I tend to agree.

I wish I had a nickel...no, a half-penny for how many times I've heard women tell me they like a man that puts them in their place.

He said that women hate when their men are passive, but the second the men take charge, women hate giving up the control.

I don't believe in absolutes...wait, I just contradicted myself. Not believing in absolutes, is an absolute. Nevermind. I believe in absolutes, but I don't believe my pastor's statement is a tried and true theory. I do, however, believe this is true in most cases...and he's been alive for a very long time.

The Pursuit of Happiness

I've spent most of my life living for fun; looking for the next entertaining moment. Being constantly bombarded with activities while I was at Evangel University, I believe the institution of my higher education is partly at fault. Every night there was an activity, a party, or an event. I got so used to the busyness, I neglected the quiet moments...and activities that have greater importance. I did experience invaluable, irreplaceable friendships, but I wish that I had spent more time volunteering at a homeless shelter, reading books, practicing music, or studying the forms of musical literature by legendary composers (something I'll probably never get another chance to do...or at least have such easy access). I wish that I had challenged people spiritually. Intellectually. I guess I'm just evaluating what takes precedence in my life and reevaluating my priorities (guitar lessons here I come).

I refuse to live a life of regrets, and that's why I'm determined to change the future.

Unspoken

For some reason that feeling in the pit of my stomach still wells up inside of me, even after I've spent so much time without. I've sought distractions and focused on the goal ahead; but still, it's there. It doesn't matter how much time I spend away, I'm still not completely healed. I've got to replace the void with something eternal, but I keep on distrusting. Foolishness.

A little cryptic, but this is just one of those things I have to get out without going into detail. Kind of like an unspoken prayer request...

9.22.09

Today I learned why most senior pastors prefer their new hirees to be married. A single woman told me when I sing it gives her goose-pimples.

There's so much marriage everywhere. It's like facebook is infected with it.

bytugle (a word I just made up)

It's amazing how the best things in life can be directly in front of you for most of your life and you don't even realize it.

CONVICTION

I've been convicted lately of my materialistic desires. Now that I have a decent job and I'm a single guy with no family to worry about and making much more money than I ever have, I can't help but think about all the cool stuff I can now buy: Clothes, furniture, electronics...the list goes on and on. I know that some of these things I "need", but I can't help feeling convicted. I just got off the phone yesterday with Pastor Edwards, the senior pastor of the church I'm going to. I shared with him my passion for reaching the lost in the St. Louis area. It's a very unique place. One minute you can be driving by these really nice homes and new developments, and the next you think you took entered a scene from New Orleans. Broken down homes, apartments crammed with large families just trying to make it by. As I started thinking this morning, I began to wonder just how comfortable someone who lived in poverty would feel about entering my home, with uncomfortable IKEA furniture and a 42" LCD television and stupid decorations that are just going to be out of style in a couple of years. Granted, I need SOME furniture in my place...I'm literally leaving Des Moines with only 2 car-loads of my stuff. No bed. No dressers. No sofa. But I'm going to be very careful in the decisions that I make when purchasing items for my home. Plain. Simple. Efficient. That's all I need.

StL

I'm moving to St. Louis. I accepted a position as a worship leader in O'Fallon, which is about 15 minutes east of St. Louis, and even less from where I spent my life from the age of 2 until I was 10. The church has offered to help pay for my masters in Music Theory - right now it's kind of just a choice of where I want to get it from...Washington University or SIUE. Washington University also has a Dr. program available in music theory....hopefully I'll stay long enough to complete that. The church is about 400 people, and pretty diverse in age. They are looking to move forward with their music style as well as their musicianship. There is alot of raw, undeveloped talent. It won't be easy. There are many improvements, rules, and adjustments that need to be made, but the spirit of the worship team seems so teachable. I have never met a more humble, willing group of people. Gos has opened so many doors for me and proven His faithfulness over and over again. I am getting to do what I love. The Pastor pretty much commanded me to arrange music for the worship team. No arguments there. Basically, I was terrified to leave home, and comfort, and familiarity, but I am now more confident than ever that I am doing what I am supposed to be. I am also more tired than I have ever been in a long time because I am now officially and oldie...so I'm going to bed. Night.

Blog, people!

I'd really like people to start blogging. Why?

1. It will motivate me to blog about something meaningful.
2. I will have something to read.
3. It is written, "Thou shalt blog. Often."

I'm tired of titling my posts.

So I've made quite a few important decisions in the past couple of weeks and I have many more ahead.

I recently interviewed for a job working with insurance claims. It is decent money and it would be a good start to a financially secure future. I got a green light from all three managers, but something inside me just felt like it wasn't right. It was so safe and easy...and not what I want to do. I felt this guilt for even interviewing for it. I went to college for 4 years learning about music, performing it, and developing my talents; I couldn't just turn my back on it now. I turned them down.

In the meantime, I've been putting my resume out to churches across the country, looking for a position as a worship leader. Needless to say, this felt right. I've gotten some responses back and I'm actually going to follow up on a position in an area I already know quite well. I will be trying-out there soon, so pray for me.

I rode a horse on Sunday night. BIG mistake. I had him going at a nice little trot for a while...it felt really natural. I thought to myself, "Self, you could be a cowboy. You could live off on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Just you and your trusted horse." While I was thinking this, Satan's Steed (I don't know his real name, but I figure this surely fits him better than his real name) starts to go buck wild when he sees the corral, galloping off to return home. I'm not a cowboy. I'm not a lover of animals. I am not good with balance. I felt myself starting to go off. The horse was going crazy, so I decided to bail. I jumped off the horse as he was running back to his home. I fell on my side and rolled quite a few times. If you ask me, it looked pretty James Bond-ish...but just ask me. Anyways, my mother insisted that I go to the doctor. I arrived to a nurse that resembled the foreign chick in Dodgeball - the super tall one reminiscent of a man. Anyways, I show her my bruise and she freaks out. If she freaked out, I thought I should too. So the last couple of days I've been limping around with a 3rd butt-cheek, woman-hips on one side, or a grapefruit-sized bruise on my left thigh...whatever you want to call it. Moral of the story: If you can't control it, don't ride it.

Friendship?

I'm trying to decide if it's a good thing when it takes a friend a long time to respond back to me, whether it be via e-mail, phone call, or any other source of media. On one hand, it makes me think that they believe they are a close enough friend that I don't necessarily need them to respond right away...like family. If I don't have the time to talk to me family right away, I give them a call later...and they are fine with that. On the other hand, you also can't help but wonder if maybe they are trying to cut-off the relationship...or maybe they're just busy...or forgetful...or maybe you just really don't mean that much to them. Quite the predicament.

It's funny how when I was young I used to check out girls bodies, but now I just check out their ring finger.

I'm a liar

Why do I always lie to myself? I let myself believe I'm someone I'm not. I let myself believe things will work out, even when I know it's not best for me. I hate when I want something so badly, I lie to myself and try to change who I know I am to fit into the mold of what I want to be. I try to force things to work, to fit. I need to realize that I'm a puzzle-piece. I'm unique. I can't fit everywhere...just in one spot.

Good surprise?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the huge zits on my legs were actually chigger bites.

Recently

The other day I heard on a Christian radio station one of the most ridiculous songs I have ever heard. Basically it was saying that little girls are princesses and your wife is a queen and women are perfect. Not true. I have a sister and mother. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful people, but they are not supernatural in any sense. I just think that Christian society has placed this unrealistic expectation upon men to treat the women in their lives like goddesses. Women make mistakes, poor choices, and have their bad days just like men. I want to love an respect my wife, daughter, and mother, but I also don't want to place them on a pedestal. We are all equal. I know this may sound like an anti-feminist rant, but it's not...I just want to hear more songs on The Wind that talk about husbands and sons as kings and princes, that's all.

I may be going back home to Des Moines after my internship. I've been praying for some things to fall in place here in Springfield, but so far they have not come to pass. I'm still praying...but maybe He's got another plan.

I Love America was on the 3rd this year. It's amazing that a church can put on a fireworks show so large that the city decides to forget their fireworks display. They say over 120,000 people were there...so at least that many heard the Gospel message, not including those watching the God TV broadcast. Israel Houghton and NewBreed played as well as Leeland. They were both sick, but Israel's band was insane. Their bassist was rocking a 6 -string bass like nobody's business. Oh, and John Lindell messed up the pledge of allegiance...that's not embarrassing...

Shot off my own fireworks last night. Colton Moos, Taylor Higgins, and Chad Lee need to take a class on fireworks safety...throwing fireworks into a bonfire is not a favorable way to celebrate the 4th. I spent most of the night ducking and covering my head. Nevertheless, it was awesome hanging out with some of the Evangel crowd once again.

-Signing off-

"Name it Claim it" vs. God's Will

There is a job opportunity that I really want. I have been praying fervently that I will receive it. I pray that I know God can give me the job. I also pray that I really want it and I know that He can make it happen. On the flipside, maybe it's not in God's will. It's hard for me to pray for His will, and also try the "name it claim it" approach...especially if what I want is not in His plans. When I have these thoughts I feel like my faith is small. These are obscenely short sentences...an 'Ode to Hemingway, perhaps.

6/29/09

Even though I feel bad for saying this, I am kind of glad to see that other graduates are having as hard a time as me finding a job. Not just any old students, either. Students that were in campus leadership positions, made good grades, and have excellent sommunication skills. Students that are not getting calls back from places that I wouldn't even apply for in high school but I now find myself reluctantly begging for a job. Is that bad? Please forgive me class of '09. If it is any comfort to you, it appears we are in the same boat.

Speaking of forgiveness, today I started reflecting back on how someone had wronged me and all I wanted to do was get them back. Give them the cold shoulder and not give a crap about their feelings...kind of like they did to me. But as I thought of how I could get even, I was reminded that forgiveness is a powerful and difficult action. It is not always easy, and sometimes when we think that we have forgiven others, we actually have not...we still harbor bitterness towards them. I want to truely forgive others. I do not want to just speak the words, I want to act them out.

$$$

I am thoroughly convinced that the only people who have ever said money does not buy happiness were poor...a sad attempt to make their situation seem less unfortunate.

Achievements

I ran a mile today and I actually lifted with my legs today. The bursitis in my arm has forced me to find new, and strange ways to exercise...like running and squats.

I finally got sick of eating PB and J today and I decided to make brats. To some, this may not be much of an achievement, but to me (domestically challenged) it was one of the most heroic and courageous things I've done lately. I made them in a skillet. I didn't even know you could do that. Granted, I burned the first two, but I quickly caught on and made two more delicious, golden brown cheddar brats. MMmmmmm...meat.

I made $20 in tips the other night and all I did was sing once and do 2 carry-outs. Not bad on top of $11 an hour.

My phone just killed itself. I was outside talking to my mom not that long ago, and my phone started hissing angrily at me and went ka-put. LAME. All of my electronics are failing. First my laptop, now this. I think God wants me to become a Freeman in the boondocks of Montana and give up my evil technological advances in order to cleanse my filthy spirit and evil desires.

and.........the computer I am on just froze up and I had to copy and save this blog in word and paste it in here again.

Friends

It's amazing to me to see how much friends shape who we are. When I look back on certain seasons of my life, I can almost always trace the decisions I made back to the influence of my friends. We would adopt their humor, mannerisms, and even some of their habits. Recognizing this has made me much more aware of the friends I choose to spend time with. Hopefully they are stretching me, challenging me, and replenishing me spiritually and emotionally. So this is a shout-out to all my friends. Thanks for being who you are. Don't change!

I've been hanging with two individuals who are polar opposites. One of them is constantly looking for adventure and excitement. The other is content in finding adventure in the daily norms. While I appreciate both, I tend to be a somewhat calm person. I love adventure, but I usually let it find me; I feel like it's more natural that way. I love finding comfort and joy in the small things: relaxing by the pool, reading a book, just talking with friends, watching a movie. I like these things. I feel like all too often people are scared of slowing down. Scared to do nothing. Not me. Bring on the lazy summer afternoons and slow weekends. I don't want to fabricate adventure, I want to experience it for real.

Something New

So I've decided to do something new. My blogs are probably just going to be a mish-mash of everything I can think of at the moment. I am steering away from the "one-subject" blog post and moving towards a more eclectic compilation of thought-provoking chaos (I made that sound way more cool than it actually will be). Here goes:

I finally figured out why God gave me a talent and desire to sing. MACARONI GRILL. Yup, that's right, folks. You are looking at the newest addition to the "singing team". Prepare to be romanced and swooned...fellas, you might not want to bring your women there anymore...

I as well as 4 other people made a clap track in the studio a couple of days ago. Basically, we spread throughout the room and all clapped to the beat of a worship song James River wrote and produced. We took several takes of the clapping and layered them on top of each other while adding reverb. 5 instantly became hundreds. Fabricated live audience. Amazing.

I'm getting really spoiled and I'm not sure I want to leave the apt. Pool, hot tub, fitness center (that I can't work out in...my bursitis took care of that), TiVo, and the first time I've ever had cable. EVER.

I'm beginning to realize more than ever that I either need to marry a woman who can cook really soon, or I need to learn how to do it myself. Ramen, soup, and cereal can only cut it for so long. I also have a greater appreciation for my mom who always had a different meal ready for the family at dinner. Wonder woman.

Word-Vomit

My grandpa's visitation was today. It was nice to see everyone come and support our family. There were a couple hundred people there. I was amazed to see how many people he impacted.

I currently have a beard, and evidently it's a big deal. I've had multiple people comment on it, including two family members and two random people at my grandpa's visitation today...one of which was an Native American who explained to me that the reason Indians don't grow beards is because they are considered unmanly. Whenever I grow one it always seems to attract attention. It's just a beard.

My dad gave me his old guitar for a graduation present and I still have yet to really spend some quality time with it. I always told him that if he let me have it, I would learn it instead of letting go to waste like him. So far I'm a liar.

I'm really enjoying my internship at Music Precedent so far. Matt Moore is an excellent teacher and is easy to get along with. We are fast becoming friends.

I'm still looking for a job. At this point I feel like I've been too picky, but I also don't want to short-change myself. It would be hard for me to accept a job that I would not be happy with and I would not receive decent pay. I freakin' just graduated college. I'm not working for minimum wage!

I watched Peter Pan in Branson. I think it's funny that a grown woman (57 year-old olympic gold-medalist, gymanst Cathy Rigby) plays a little boy. She was doing flips and splits on-stage - I can only hope I'm that vivacious at that age. I never realized before the severity of his mommy issues and his disgust for growing up. I've been feeling lately that I've been clinging to my youth, and watching Peter Pan in his annoying immaturity helped bring into focus in my own life just how much I am glad where I am in life.

I can't help but feel that God is calling me to the ministry. I feel this tug at my heart every time I think about it, not to mention that multiple people have talked to me about how they think I'm meant for it as well. I have a long way to go spiritually - quite a bit of maturing to do, but I know that these last few months have done more for me in that area than probably most of my life combined.

My Thoughts Lately, Vol. 2

Grandpa.

I've unfortunately neglected my grandparents during my tenure at Evangel despite the fact that they are only 7 minutes away from school and are capable of providing me with free food, free laundry, and insurmountable wisdom. My grandpa has struggled with prostate cancer for quite a few years now, but it has never really caused him severe pain until now. A sleeping giant. I was absolutely appalled by the change in my grandpa from when I had seen him at my Sr. recital to no more than a month later at the time of my graduation. My once strong grandfather now needs help eating, brushing his teeth, and going to the bathroom - tasks with which he once assisted me. I have been doing my best to stop by their house for at least a couple of hours a day, but I am afraid that something will happen to him when I am not there. Thankfully, my grandma is finally conceding and letting us bend the rules of Maranatha by letting me stay with her for the next week or so. I guess I am scared that I will not be around when they need me most...but I am even more scared that I am going to be the one who finds that he has passed. I am not sure how I will deal with that.

My Thoughts Lately, Vol. 1

I've been staying in Springfield for 4 days now, and I already feel trapped, anxious, and uneasy. I literally woke up terrified the other night because I realized I was back in the dorms. It feels like even though I've graduated, I haven't gone anywhere or done anything with my life. I am in a transition right now, and I know that; but I just can't help feeling like things need to start moving. Progressing. I've been feverishly sending out applications to all sorts of places, most of which I have no desire to work at, but I have few options. Until I finish my Sr. recording project and internship this summer or possibly fall, I am at a standstill to pursue my career. I need my recording project to be finished more than anything so I can send in some of my work to recording studios. I am fully confident that it will turn out incredible, it's just a matter of time. I have so many great ideas and plans for it, I am just horrible at getting the ball rolling. I've talked with my musicians, and they are all on board. It's just a matter of time until they get here and we start recording. I can't wait.

Moving On

Me: ready to take on the world...

All the seniors here at Evangel are talking about how much they are going to miss Evangel and how they never want these years to end...I'm right there with them, but I can't help but wonder the plans that God has in store for me. I am spending the summer here and I know that it will be fun, but I also know that if I stick around Springfield too long, I'll get caught up living in the past, wanting to be back in school again. I don't want that. I need to make my own way and explore new possibilities. Just because what I'm experiencing right now is completely new and foreign to me doesn't mean that I should be afraid of it. Yes I will miss my friends, but I can make new ones, get a fresh start, and begin to actually live the life that I spent 16 years in school for. I'm looking forward to it! Here I come world...be gentle with me.

Sometimes I wish that people would show me half of the consideration and care that I show them. There is nothing more frustrating to me than not having consideration reciprocated. Sometimes it feels like people don't even care. Society is too wrapped up in its own little world to care about anyone else. Well I've got news for everyone: there are other people out there. Get your head out of your butt and actually do something for someone else once in a while. Don't be a sponge that soaks up everyone elses kindness, return it. Take time to really think about the thought and consideration that people pour into your life:

1. Friends
2. Family
3. Co-workers
4. Teachers
5. Pastors

Let them know you care. You'll both be glad you did.

Change 2

On the other hand, change can be just what you need: closure. Closing a chapter in your life, only to open a new and better one...

Change

I used to look forward to change. I longed for it. I've always been a restless person. I can't stand to stay at a restaurant for more than a couple of minutes after my food has been eaten. Change. Why do circumstances have to change? Why is it completely different everytime I go back to my hometown? Change. How am I so close to some people one semester, and so completely disconnected from them the next? Change. I know change isn't always bad. Everywhere I've lived I have grown, learned life experiences, and become a better person because of change; but I just want something to stay the same. I need an anchor in my life. A firm foundation. Something solid and consistent I can hold on to. Something everlasting...unchanging.

jusT stufF

One of the funniest and most confusing convo's of my life:

Christopher

huh..

Brooke

11:30pm

??

Christopher

11:30pm

hmm...

Brooke

11:31pm

????????????????????????/

Christopher

11:34pm

uhhhh...

Christopher

11:42pm

errr...

Brooke

11:42pm

??

Christopher

11:43pm

oh, hey. Didn't see you there

Brooke

11:52pm

uh?

Christopher

11:54pm

huh?

Brooke

11:55pm

omg

Christopher

11:55pm

what?

Brooke

11:55pm

what are you talking about??

Christopher

11:57pm

who is this?

Brooke

11:57pm

uhhhhhh

did Christopher leave his facebook open again? haha

i'm assuming this is Claire and Ellie?

THE END

Yup, that's how it ended. Confusing...but it was me all along. Probably just funnier to the people involved...save Brooke.

My Wife

Meet Helga, my former (ex)

If you've ever spent any amount of time with me, you know that I speak of my future wife quite often. I've set some standards for my wife. Well one, actually. My wife must be super ugly so no other guy is attracted to her. I'm a selfish, jealous dude. I want her all to myself, even if it means I'm not attracted to her.

Currently My New (to me) Favorite Artists

I've been listening to Pandora lately and scanning myspace to find some new talent. Here are some of my favorite gems:


Acoustic: Joe Brooks

• Favorite song: Superman
• http://www.myspace.com/joebrooksmusic

Alternative: The Bravery

• Favorite Song: Believe
• http://www.myspace.com/thebravery

Funk/Jazz: Rebirth Brass Band

• http://www.myspace.com/rebirthbrassband

Classical: Ralph Vaughan Williams

I can't decide if I want to punch something or cry.

I hate that I love my sin. Why do I always return to what God hates so much, that breaks His heart? Why do I desire to feel guilty and ashamed? I should be desiring to fulfill God's purpose, to be an example for others and live a life that entices others to follow my Father. I hate my sin, and I hate that I love it.  

Even though I run the risk of sounding like a prudish Joshua Harris, I have to say that I really admire girls who dress modestly. And for all you skeptics out there who think that I am writing this just so I can get a girl...you're right. Just. Kidding. There is something to be said though about girls who don't feel the need to show off their bodies -- it gives off an air of confidence. Don't get me wrong, I'll be one of the first people to tell you that a woman's body is one of the most attractive things to me -- besides sleep and a Krispy Kreme, but confidence is a very appealing attribute. And while it's been said a million times before, it's true: guys will respect you more. It becomes much easier for guys to view girls as a soul, a mind, and a personality -- instead of an object. This will probably get misinterpreted as really sexist and unfair, but I don't really care. This is what I think, and if you don't like it, you can subscribe to another blog. Peace.

Thank God For Jupiter

Thank God for Jupiter. I just learned in my astronomy class that without Jupiter acting as an enormous vacuum in space, meteors would be hurtling towards earth causing all kinds of death and destruction. Thank God for Jupiter.

Internship

So I just found out that there might be an internship possibility at Gotee Records. Toby Mac here I come...

The Funship

Best things about my cruise to the Caribbean:

1. All you can eat. Eat up, you already paid for it. Get 2 appetizers...2 desserts...and try snail. If you don't like the lamb you ordered, no biggy, order something else. YOU PAID FOR IT.

2.  My waitor from Hungary (who I really think is with the Russian mob, after seeing him on the beach with his slicked back hair, black beater, and camo pants tippig back a beer and smoking a cigar) named Zoltan, or as we called him, "Z". Not only are we now facebook friends, but he offered to buy me drinks on the beach when he spent the day with us. Don't worry Covenant, I declined. 

3. Joel Palmquist coming into the room, shouting "SUPERMAN" as he leaped to his bed in the pitch black, only to find that he was about 3 feet short.

4. The mexicans mistaking my indecision for bartering techniques.

5. Being on the beach for the first time. The combination of white sand and blue-green water was overwhelming.

6. Realizing that sunscreen was made to protect me, but when you rub it in unevenly you can make a burn that looks like snoopy on your back. 

7. Assisting in the smuggling of cigars to the U.S. in tampons wrappers.

8. Making new friends at the hot tub and actually remembering their names the next time I saw them.

9. Making fun of Joel about losing his money only for him to leave $500 dollars richer...maybe there is something to gambling...

10. Waking up to our door open two night in a row. The first night we all woke up and heard voices, then we realized our door was open. Thing is, our door can only be opened with a card-key...and everyine in our room was asleep. Next night, I am awake when our door slowly creaks open. I throw the covers off and run out to the hallway only to find that no one is there...with hundreds of feet of hallway on either side of our door...not an easy quick escape. We finally got wise the 3rd night and dead-bolted the door, but only after one of my roomies told us that he saw a figure in the doorway the first night. Creeps.

There are so many things I want to write and none of them are encouraging or uplifting, so I'll opt for the "talk about writing it because that's better than actually writing it" deal.

Pandemic

Senioritis is one of the hardest diseases to overcome. I know, because I've been battling it since the middle of last semester and I still have yet to see any improvement in the symptoms. Why can't teachers understand that the last thing I want to do is homework and write stupid papers about stuff that is irrelevant to my future career? I should have gone to a trade school.

-Chris

Huh? What? Be More Constructive With Your Feedback.

I hate being unable to relate to people. There is nothing that frustrates me more than desperately trying to communicate with someone while they blankly stare at me. I wish I had what it takes to have the same humor, experiences, and interests as everyone that I come across. I did not used to be this way. There was a time in my life that I did not care if people understood me or even got to know me...I like being able to relate with people, but at the same time, I feel like it turns me into someone else. I long for a healthy balance of chameleon and Chris.

Lard-O

I'm getting older...and sadly, my belly is starting to reflect that. The worst part is, I don't really care that much. Next time you see me, tell me I'm fat, or hideous, or an elephant has a better six-pack than I do, and it definitely might motivate me to go to the gym...probably.

Kiddiez

Yesterday made me think twice about having children someday. I was in the post office waiting for my passport application to be sent, and a family of five was in front of me. They had one child a little over one years old desperately trying to escape the confines of the building. Despite every attempt resulting in his capture, every time his parents set him back down on the ground, the second they turned away he started charging for the door. It's amazing how a child that young knows to wait until his parents are not looking to try something brash, but he still can not figure out that no matter how many times he reaches for the door handle, he's just not quite tall enough to turn it.

After observing the little toddler, my attention was drawn to the oldest boy (I nicknamed him Brace-face). He was around the age of 12 or 13, right when adolescent boys think everything they say is funny, but in all actuality they are just polluting the air with their stupidity. He kept trying to crack jokes, but his parents weren't paying attention to him because they were too wrapped up in trying to get passports, and his younger siblings were too enthralled with the discovery of gold inside their nose.

Which leaves me with the last kid. The middle-child. The gem. She knew the meaning of perseverance. Not so much the way we like to know it...persevering through a job loss, or a hard scholastic course, or a race...more like persevering at making everyone wanting to kill themselves. That little girl single-handedly made my trip to the post office last 10 minutes longer than it needed to be. Why, you ask? Because she couldn't decide her hair color. It went from dirty blond, to blond, to reddish-blond, to brown-blond ("Is brown-blond a color?" her mom asked), to get this, TAN. Yup. The girl insisted that her hair was tan. In fact, she was so convinced that it was tan, that she said it at least 20 times, despite her mom's insistence that that was not a viable option of hair color. "Tan, mom. It's tan. Don't write brown-blond!" (which I guess they decided WAS a hair color). Finally her mom told her to shut up, and I began the application process 5 minutes later.

Sooooooo...kiddies. What a...hoot? Try pain in the butt.

Mi Vida

I have often wondered what the world would be like without me. What aspects would be better? What situations would be worse? How would my friend's lives be changed? How have I impacted them - positively or negatively? After pondering over these questions, some of the answers encouraged and frightened me. But whether or not you like it, World, I am here. Until God decides to take me, you are stuck with me. Which compels me to beg the question, "What will I do with the life I have been given?"

Just Do It

A little devo translated into layman's terms by me from the late Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

"Do as You have said." 2 Samuel 7:25

God's promises were never meant to be thrown away like trash; he intended that they should be used. God is not stingy with his blessings. Nothing pleases our Lord better than to see his promises put in motion; he loves to see his children bring them up to him, and say, "Lord, do as You have said." We glorify God when we beg for his promises. Do you think that God will be any poorer for giving you the riches he has promised? Do you think that he will be any less holy for giving holiness to you? Do you imagine he will be any less pure for washing you from your sins? He has said "Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; although they are red like crimson, they will be like wool." Faith clings to the promise of forgiveness. When a Christian grasps a promise, if he does not take it to God, he dishonours him; but when he runs to the throne of grace, and cries, "Lord, I have nothing to offer but this, "You have said it;'" then his desire will be granted. Our heavenly Banker delights to cash his own checks. Never let the promise rust. Draw the word of promise out and use it. Don't think that God will be annoyed by you reminding him of His promises. He loves to hear the loud outcries of needy souls. It is his delight to help us when we are in need. He is more ready to hear than you are to ask. The sun is not tired of shining, and neither is God tired of giving His gifts. It is God's nature to keep his promises; so go at once to the throne with "Do as You have said."

Huh?

So I was in the gym today and I realized that most of the guys were wearing sleeveless shirts, myself included. Provocative. Then I began to wonder, are men's sleeveless tees the equivalent of women's spaghetti-strap shirts?


Oh, and I'm really into unicorns lately.

Top Bunk

Three reasons the top bunk is lame:

1. Trying to make your bed while it is 7 feet in the air and accessible from only one side.
   
2. Starting out with sweatpants and a shirt and progressively removing a layer of clothing as the night transpires because your Ecuadorian roommate wants to bring his homeland to the dorm by turning the heat up to 80 degrees. Fortunately, heat rises which only adds to the warmth being blasted from the vent that is mere feet away from your face.
   
3. Waking up in mid-air only seconds before crashing to the floor.

Considerate Counseling

If a friend comes to you seeking advice, give it. It is your duty as a friend to give adequate consultation, but be careful. Proverbs 10: 19 says this, "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise" (NIV). Before giving advice, consider these thoughts:

1. Is it unselfish? - Advice given in the best interest of your friend, not your own personal agenda.
   
2. Is it specific to your friend? - Give advice that is indicative to your friend. DO NOT live vicariously through them.
   
3. Is it sensible? - Showing good sense and judgment.
4. Is it Biblical? - Reflecting God's word and His heart.

Alternatively, you should also carefully consider points 1-4 when receiving advice. Also, scrutinize your source. Is the friend someone whose consultation should be taken at face value, or with a grain of salt? All too often one receives detrimental advice because their "friend" is jealous. Or maybe the friend does not want you to succeed. Or maybe they just do not want you to be happy because they are devoid of happiness in their own life. Consider the source and choose carefully your closest advisers - they shape who you are and what you will become. James 3: 4, 5 puts it so well: "...a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches" (NLT).

Above all, no source of advice should be considered higher than God. You can receive confirmation of a decision through His word or even an audible voice. Unfortunately, sometimes God can be hard to hear...or maybe it is because we are not listening? Whatever the case, God also gave humans the freedom to make their own decisions and make logical choices. Is it possible that sometimes God does not make His will clear to us because He knows that we have the capacity to make the correct choice? Do not put all of your stock in the consultation of others. After all, they are just people, right?

"Test everything. Hold on to the good."
- 1 Thessalonians 5: 21

Heroes For Today

For the last year, my family has gone through struggles and challenges that have changed us forever. My father is a pastor, and even though he is not currently serving in a church, I suppose being church-less doesn't change his call and passion. Up until last January, my family was comfortable with our rural Iowa home, familiar friends, and security. We felt unbreakable. My parents were undoubtedly going to grow old and retire in residential Altoona, Iowa.

But God had other plans. Granted, my parents are still living in the same home that they have been breaking in for the last 5 years, but things are different now. Modified. Gone is the security of a stable job with a fixed income. But it is about more than just the money, it is about the friends and the years of building meaningful relationships in the church, only to have them ripped away that hurt us.

Despite the drastic adjustments in friends and finances, my parents hit the ground running. They immediately struck out, perusing suitable jobs worthy of their educational achievements. Four years in school and thirty-three plus years of experience should have yielded some sort of pastoring position, right? Wrong. My dad searched high and low for a job as a pastor and each time, they were faced with a dead end. But did that get a brother down? Oh no it didn't. Instead of giving up, sitting at home and grumbling about all the misfortunes life had thrown at him, my father sucked it up and realized that God had a plan and a purpose. He took a job at night in a grocery store chain called Hy-Vee, and took a substituting job by day. Although coupons and grocery shopping has always been a passion of my father, I doubt stocking candy is where he imagined himself in his mid-fifties. But my father was not alone in his struggle. My mother took on over 40 piano students and a part-time job at a daycare down the street from our home. Currently both of my parents are putting in more than 50 hours a week. Instead of building their 401k, they are working harder than they ever have just to scrape by.

Do not misunderstand the reason for this post. It is not to receive pity. Instead, it is to honor and recognize the hard work of my parents. My heroes.

Psalm 34

I heard a pastor in Des Moines reference this Psalm in one of his Sunday morning sermons. I thought that it could make a great song. Unfortunately, not one sole version satisfied me. In an effort to create a "Super Psalm", I gathered print-outs of 5 or 6 versions and combined them all into this with a little tweaking of my own here and there. I'm calling it, the NCEV: New Chris Eclectic Version.

Psalm 34

Verse 1

I will praise the Lord at all times.
My lungs expand with His praise.
I live and breathe You God
Let all who are helpless take heart.

Verse 2

Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness;
Let us exalt His name together.
I pray to the Lord, and He answers me.
He frees me from all my anxious fears.

Verse 3

Those who look to Him will shine with joy;
No shadow of shame will darken their face.
When I was desperate, I called out,
and He saved me from my troubles.

Chorus

Great is the Lord, and worthy to be praised.
Great is the Lord, He meets us at our need.
Great is the Lord, for He is Holy and worthy to be praised.

Bridge

Worthy, Holy, Righteous, Magnify His name.