Considerate Counseling

If a friend comes to you seeking advice, give it. It is your duty as a friend to give adequate consultation, but be careful. Proverbs 10: 19 says this, "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise" (NIV). Before giving advice, consider these thoughts:

1. Is it unselfish? - Advice given in the best interest of your friend, not your own personal agenda.
   
2. Is it specific to your friend? - Give advice that is indicative to your friend. DO NOT live vicariously through them.
   
3. Is it sensible? - Showing good sense and judgment.
4. Is it Biblical? - Reflecting God's word and His heart.

Alternatively, you should also carefully consider points 1-4 when receiving advice. Also, scrutinize your source. Is the friend someone whose consultation should be taken at face value, or with a grain of salt? All too often one receives detrimental advice because their "friend" is jealous. Or maybe the friend does not want you to succeed. Or maybe they just do not want you to be happy because they are devoid of happiness in their own life. Consider the source and choose carefully your closest advisers - they shape who you are and what you will become. James 3: 4, 5 puts it so well: "...a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches" (NLT).

Above all, no source of advice should be considered higher than God. You can receive confirmation of a decision through His word or even an audible voice. Unfortunately, sometimes God can be hard to hear...or maybe it is because we are not listening? Whatever the case, God also gave humans the freedom to make their own decisions and make logical choices. Is it possible that sometimes God does not make His will clear to us because He knows that we have the capacity to make the correct choice? Do not put all of your stock in the consultation of others. After all, they are just people, right?

"Test everything. Hold on to the good."
- 1 Thessalonians 5: 21