Dear Jane, ...

I was having a conversation with someone today about what they are looking for in a future spouse...and I began to think about some things that I would like in a mate. These aren't fundamental core values...more like helplessly romantic ramblings...

I want...

When she sheds her tears I want to look into her eyes and think, "There isn't a thing in the world I wouldn't do to keep you from crying."

When I look into her eyes I want to know that she loves me as much as I love her.

When I look into her eyes I want to know that if I desired, I could look into them forever...and I would love every minute of it.

I want to roll over in the morning and have her eyes be the first thing I see...and then go bring us some breakfast in bed.

I want to look in her eyes and think, "Wow, you are undoubtedly the most beautiful woman in the world, and God created you just for me."

Go ahead and laugh. It's okay. If I was in your place, I'd probably do the same thing too. It's not like I'm sitting around my house grumbling about how I don't have this. On the contrary, I'm actually fully embracing single life. There is so much you can accomplish on your own...but someday God may place someone in my life, and I can't wait to experience these emotions outside of my imagination.

I can't wait to meet her, but in the words of Michael Buble, "I just haven't met you yet."

Is it a maturity issue when people act differently when they are with you alone as opposed to a group? I've never understood that...How do you know which personality is the real one?

FUNerals

I attended a funeral today. The woman lived to be 102. Think of all you could do in that time. Accomplishments for God. Not selfish actions that ultimately have no reward, but selfless, compassionate actions that you will be remembered for...actions to leave a legacy.

It wasn't a very large turnout, but you could tell she was loved and a generally good person. Everyone reflected on her humor and jocular disposition...what admirable characteristics to be remembered for.

I also learned that there is a 3 month period in North Dakota that no one is buried during. The ground is frozen solid. So if you die during the winter, they refrigerate you and bury you in late spring. I would say that gives you sufficient time to mourn before the graveside.

There is always an unusual dynamic at funerals. It's a sadness overcome by joy. Sad to see them leave, glad to know they're in heaven. Sad that a death has finally caused all the family to reunite, but glad to see old faces...and even some new ones. And this is all happening while gathering around a dead friend or relative who is resting peacefully in an open casket, which obviously doesn't bother anyone enough to still not want to eat lunch. A death lunch. All the merry-making while some are still in mourning.

Happy and sad.

Youtube

Just once I'd like to be the person who makes the discovery of an original, unique, youtube phenomenon.

AAAAaaaahhhh! I need Jesus!!! I need him to wrap His arms around me! Love me! Protect me!

Saw Winter Jam last night. Michael Tait is the new lead singer for the Newsboys. He met with all the pastors at the concert. He talked about DC Talk...and I missed my chance to shout out, "Reunion Tour"! Oh well. It was awkward to hear him singing Newsboys and DC Talk songs all in the same performance...not to mention the fact that he's a complete metro...which I never expected from hearing his rap on Jesus Freak.

Anyways, it was cool to hang out with the youthies. They bring so much life and vigor. I've been working pretty hard lately and dealing with some really "adult" situations, so it was nice to kick back and be a little immature.

We had a Worship Team Retreat today. A retreat to the church, but a retreat nonetheless. It was nice to hang out with everyone and just fellowship. We normally only get together on Sundays and Wednesdays, and all we do then is practice. Not really much time to build relationships. Some of the members cooked food and we had a time of teaching and praying for one another. It really ministered to my soul. We also got to learn some cool new music that everyone seems to be pumped about.

Pastor brought up grad school to me again. I need to get the ball rolling on that. Looking at a Master's in vocal performance at SIUE. Yes, it's more money, but this is something I love, I'm single right now, so I'm gonna go for it. Not to mention it is a path that can help me fulfill my dream of one day teaching at a university. I also miss singing/playing with a big choir. I get to conduct one here, but I don't get to participate. I've missed that...and it'll be an improvement from Evangel's choir...not dissing them, but it's just a small program. Enough writing for today. I have to practice conducting for tomorrow. PEACE.

Ahhh! I really want to blog but I just don't have the time. Sleep is overtaking me. Sleeeeeee....ZZZZZZzzzzzZZzzZZzzzzzzzz..........

Human

Pastor's sermon today was about how Jesus came down to earth so He could relate to us. What an act of humility. He was fully God and fully man. He lowered Himself to be like us. But it wasn't enough that He became like us, He dies for us. What an awesome God.

I think I may have just re-enrolled in HS.

FUN

Being a worship leader has its disadvantages...

I went through and removed the tags on my Jasmine pictures.

I thought about keeping one...then I just saved it to my external.

Tonight's "Pursue" night was AWESOME. Worship rocked. I always seem to get more blessed when I'm playing drums. I think it's because I can be so free with them. They hide me...I get to move around and no one thinks I'm crazy. It's freeing. And so much fun.

Tonight we all hung out afterwards and I can say that I am really starting to feel like I'm a part of the church family. I love getting involved with the youth. They're so passionate and just...cool. And I got to talk with the youth pastors afterwards and some of the young adults that attended. We just laughed and talked for almost an hour. Fun.

Basically I'm just having fun.

I spent almost 5 hours at the DMV today. I went there once, found out they don't take Visa, drove 45 minutes back home, came back and finally got my license, tags, and plates.

I was reading a book when this cute little boy came in. He stepped in, stopped, took a look around at everyone, and just stood there observing for a minute or so. Then he came and sat right in front of me with his mother. He turned around in his chair and just stared at me...for close to a minute. Finally he waved at me. I waved back. Then he stared at me for another minute. Finally he inquired, "Do you talk?" I shook my head no.

Then he got scolded by his mother.

"But why doesn't he talk?"

Fun.

God gives us days like this to reflect on when the trials come.

Thank you.