Word-Vomit

My grandpa's visitation was today. It was nice to see everyone come and support our family. There were a couple hundred people there. I was amazed to see how many people he impacted.

I currently have a beard, and evidently it's a big deal. I've had multiple people comment on it, including two family members and two random people at my grandpa's visitation today...one of which was an Native American who explained to me that the reason Indians don't grow beards is because they are considered unmanly. Whenever I grow one it always seems to attract attention. It's just a beard.

My dad gave me his old guitar for a graduation present and I still have yet to really spend some quality time with it. I always told him that if he let me have it, I would learn it instead of letting go to waste like him. So far I'm a liar.

I'm really enjoying my internship at Music Precedent so far. Matt Moore is an excellent teacher and is easy to get along with. We are fast becoming friends.

I'm still looking for a job. At this point I feel like I've been too picky, but I also don't want to short-change myself. It would be hard for me to accept a job that I would not be happy with and I would not receive decent pay. I freakin' just graduated college. I'm not working for minimum wage!

I watched Peter Pan in Branson. I think it's funny that a grown woman (57 year-old olympic gold-medalist, gymanst Cathy Rigby) plays a little boy. She was doing flips and splits on-stage - I can only hope I'm that vivacious at that age. I never realized before the severity of his mommy issues and his disgust for growing up. I've been feeling lately that I've been clinging to my youth, and watching Peter Pan in his annoying immaturity helped bring into focus in my own life just how much I am glad where I am in life.

I can't help but feel that God is calling me to the ministry. I feel this tug at my heart every time I think about it, not to mention that multiple people have talked to me about how they think I'm meant for it as well. I have a long way to go spiritually - quite a bit of maturing to do, but I know that these last few months have done more for me in that area than probably most of my life combined.

My Thoughts Lately, Vol. 2

Grandpa.

I've unfortunately neglected my grandparents during my tenure at Evangel despite the fact that they are only 7 minutes away from school and are capable of providing me with free food, free laundry, and insurmountable wisdom. My grandpa has struggled with prostate cancer for quite a few years now, but it has never really caused him severe pain until now. A sleeping giant. I was absolutely appalled by the change in my grandpa from when I had seen him at my Sr. recital to no more than a month later at the time of my graduation. My once strong grandfather now needs help eating, brushing his teeth, and going to the bathroom - tasks with which he once assisted me. I have been doing my best to stop by their house for at least a couple of hours a day, but I am afraid that something will happen to him when I am not there. Thankfully, my grandma is finally conceding and letting us bend the rules of Maranatha by letting me stay with her for the next week or so. I guess I am scared that I will not be around when they need me most...but I am even more scared that I am going to be the one who finds that he has passed. I am not sure how I will deal with that.

My Thoughts Lately, Vol. 1

I've been staying in Springfield for 4 days now, and I already feel trapped, anxious, and uneasy. I literally woke up terrified the other night because I realized I was back in the dorms. It feels like even though I've graduated, I haven't gone anywhere or done anything with my life. I am in a transition right now, and I know that; but I just can't help feeling like things need to start moving. Progressing. I've been feverishly sending out applications to all sorts of places, most of which I have no desire to work at, but I have few options. Until I finish my Sr. recording project and internship this summer or possibly fall, I am at a standstill to pursue my career. I need my recording project to be finished more than anything so I can send in some of my work to recording studios. I am fully confident that it will turn out incredible, it's just a matter of time. I have so many great ideas and plans for it, I am just horrible at getting the ball rolling. I've talked with my musicians, and they are all on board. It's just a matter of time until they get here and we start recording. I can't wait.

Moving On

Me: ready to take on the world...

All the seniors here at Evangel are talking about how much they are going to miss Evangel and how they never want these years to end...I'm right there with them, but I can't help but wonder the plans that God has in store for me. I am spending the summer here and I know that it will be fun, but I also know that if I stick around Springfield too long, I'll get caught up living in the past, wanting to be back in school again. I don't want that. I need to make my own way and explore new possibilities. Just because what I'm experiencing right now is completely new and foreign to me doesn't mean that I should be afraid of it. Yes I will miss my friends, but I can make new ones, get a fresh start, and begin to actually live the life that I spent 16 years in school for. I'm looking forward to it! Here I come world...be gentle with me.

Sometimes I wish that people would show me half of the consideration and care that I show them. There is nothing more frustrating to me than not having consideration reciprocated. Sometimes it feels like people don't even care. Society is too wrapped up in its own little world to care about anyone else. Well I've got news for everyone: there are other people out there. Get your head out of your butt and actually do something for someone else once in a while. Don't be a sponge that soaks up everyone elses kindness, return it. Take time to really think about the thought and consideration that people pour into your life:

1. Friends
2. Family
3. Co-workers
4. Teachers
5. Pastors

Let them know you care. You'll both be glad you did.

Change 2

On the other hand, change can be just what you need: closure. Closing a chapter in your life, only to open a new and better one...

Change

I used to look forward to change. I longed for it. I've always been a restless person. I can't stand to stay at a restaurant for more than a couple of minutes after my food has been eaten. Change. Why do circumstances have to change? Why is it completely different everytime I go back to my hometown? Change. How am I so close to some people one semester, and so completely disconnected from them the next? Change. I know change isn't always bad. Everywhere I've lived I have grown, learned life experiences, and become a better person because of change; but I just want something to stay the same. I need an anchor in my life. A firm foundation. Something solid and consistent I can hold on to. Something everlasting...unchanging.

jusT stufF

One of the funniest and most confusing convo's of my life:

Christopher

huh..

Brooke

11:30pm

??

Christopher

11:30pm

hmm...

Brooke

11:31pm

????????????????????????/

Christopher

11:34pm

uhhhh...

Christopher

11:42pm

errr...

Brooke

11:42pm

??

Christopher

11:43pm

oh, hey. Didn't see you there

Brooke

11:52pm

uh?

Christopher

11:54pm

huh?

Brooke

11:55pm

omg

Christopher

11:55pm

what?

Brooke

11:55pm

what are you talking about??

Christopher

11:57pm

who is this?

Brooke

11:57pm

uhhhhhh

did Christopher leave his facebook open again? haha

i'm assuming this is Claire and Ellie?

THE END

Yup, that's how it ended. Confusing...but it was me all along. Probably just funnier to the people involved...save Brooke.

My Wife

Meet Helga, my former (ex)

If you've ever spent any amount of time with me, you know that I speak of my future wife quite often. I've set some standards for my wife. Well one, actually. My wife must be super ugly so no other guy is attracted to her. I'm a selfish, jealous dude. I want her all to myself, even if it means I'm not attracted to her.

Currently My New (to me) Favorite Artists

I've been listening to Pandora lately and scanning myspace to find some new talent. Here are some of my favorite gems:


Acoustic: Joe Brooks

• Favorite song: Superman
• http://www.myspace.com/joebrooksmusic

Alternative: The Bravery

• Favorite Song: Believe
• http://www.myspace.com/thebravery

Funk/Jazz: Rebirth Brass Band

• http://www.myspace.com/rebirthbrassband

Classical: Ralph Vaughan Williams