The Pursuit of Happiness

I've spent most of my life living for fun; looking for the next entertaining moment. Being constantly bombarded with activities while I was at Evangel University, I believe the institution of my higher education is partly at fault. Every night there was an activity, a party, or an event. I got so used to the busyness, I neglected the quiet moments...and activities that have greater importance. I did experience invaluable, irreplaceable friendships, but I wish that I had spent more time volunteering at a homeless shelter, reading books, practicing music, or studying the forms of musical literature by legendary composers (something I'll probably never get another chance to do...or at least have such easy access). I wish that I had challenged people spiritually. Intellectually. I guess I'm just evaluating what takes precedence in my life and reevaluating my priorities (guitar lessons here I come).

I refuse to live a life of regrets, and that's why I'm determined to change the future.

Unspoken

For some reason that feeling in the pit of my stomach still wells up inside of me, even after I've spent so much time without. I've sought distractions and focused on the goal ahead; but still, it's there. It doesn't matter how much time I spend away, I'm still not completely healed. I've got to replace the void with something eternal, but I keep on distrusting. Foolishness.

A little cryptic, but this is just one of those things I have to get out without going into detail. Kind of like an unspoken prayer request...

9.22.09

Today I learned why most senior pastors prefer their new hirees to be married. A single woman told me when I sing it gives her goose-pimples.

There's so much marriage everywhere. It's like facebook is infected with it.

bytugle (a word I just made up)

It's amazing how the best things in life can be directly in front of you for most of your life and you don't even realize it.

CONVICTION

I've been convicted lately of my materialistic desires. Now that I have a decent job and I'm a single guy with no family to worry about and making much more money than I ever have, I can't help but think about all the cool stuff I can now buy: Clothes, furniture, electronics...the list goes on and on. I know that some of these things I "need", but I can't help feeling convicted. I just got off the phone yesterday with Pastor Edwards, the senior pastor of the church I'm going to. I shared with him my passion for reaching the lost in the St. Louis area. It's a very unique place. One minute you can be driving by these really nice homes and new developments, and the next you think you took entered a scene from New Orleans. Broken down homes, apartments crammed with large families just trying to make it by. As I started thinking this morning, I began to wonder just how comfortable someone who lived in poverty would feel about entering my home, with uncomfortable IKEA furniture and a 42" LCD television and stupid decorations that are just going to be out of style in a couple of years. Granted, I need SOME furniture in my place...I'm literally leaving Des Moines with only 2 car-loads of my stuff. No bed. No dressers. No sofa. But I'm going to be very careful in the decisions that I make when purchasing items for my home. Plain. Simple. Efficient. That's all I need.