Friendship?

I'm trying to decide if it's a good thing when it takes a friend a long time to respond back to me, whether it be via e-mail, phone call, or any other source of media. On one hand, it makes me think that they believe they are a close enough friend that I don't necessarily need them to respond right away...like family. If I don't have the time to talk to me family right away, I give them a call later...and they are fine with that. On the other hand, you also can't help but wonder if maybe they are trying to cut-off the relationship...or maybe they're just busy...or forgetful...or maybe you just really don't mean that much to them. Quite the predicament.

It's funny how when I was young I used to check out girls bodies, but now I just check out their ring finger.

I'm a liar

Why do I always lie to myself? I let myself believe I'm someone I'm not. I let myself believe things will work out, even when I know it's not best for me. I hate when I want something so badly, I lie to myself and try to change who I know I am to fit into the mold of what I want to be. I try to force things to work, to fit. I need to realize that I'm a puzzle-piece. I'm unique. I can't fit everywhere...just in one spot.

Good surprise?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the huge zits on my legs were actually chigger bites.

Recently

The other day I heard on a Christian radio station one of the most ridiculous songs I have ever heard. Basically it was saying that little girls are princesses and your wife is a queen and women are perfect. Not true. I have a sister and mother. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful people, but they are not supernatural in any sense. I just think that Christian society has placed this unrealistic expectation upon men to treat the women in their lives like goddesses. Women make mistakes, poor choices, and have their bad days just like men. I want to love an respect my wife, daughter, and mother, but I also don't want to place them on a pedestal. We are all equal. I know this may sound like an anti-feminist rant, but it's not...I just want to hear more songs on The Wind that talk about husbands and sons as kings and princes, that's all.

I may be going back home to Des Moines after my internship. I've been praying for some things to fall in place here in Springfield, but so far they have not come to pass. I'm still praying...but maybe He's got another plan.

I Love America was on the 3rd this year. It's amazing that a church can put on a fireworks show so large that the city decides to forget their fireworks display. They say over 120,000 people were there...so at least that many heard the Gospel message, not including those watching the God TV broadcast. Israel Houghton and NewBreed played as well as Leeland. They were both sick, but Israel's band was insane. Their bassist was rocking a 6 -string bass like nobody's business. Oh, and John Lindell messed up the pledge of allegiance...that's not embarrassing...

Shot off my own fireworks last night. Colton Moos, Taylor Higgins, and Chad Lee need to take a class on fireworks safety...throwing fireworks into a bonfire is not a favorable way to celebrate the 4th. I spent most of the night ducking and covering my head. Nevertheless, it was awesome hanging out with some of the Evangel crowd once again.

-Signing off-

"Name it Claim it" vs. God's Will

There is a job opportunity that I really want. I have been praying fervently that I will receive it. I pray that I know God can give me the job. I also pray that I really want it and I know that He can make it happen. On the flipside, maybe it's not in God's will. It's hard for me to pray for His will, and also try the "name it claim it" approach...especially if what I want is not in His plans. When I have these thoughts I feel like my faith is small. These are obscenely short sentences...an 'Ode to Hemingway, perhaps.